Mom, I really am truly sorry for every cavity.

We expect ourselves to do all the things our moms did and more. Is your to do list never-ending? There is a reason moms today feel worn out and stressed out. We can only do so much!

We expect so much from ourselves because we want the best for our families. And it is true, our time matters. We have so much influence.

One of the most comforting thoughts from my childhood was the feeling of coming home. Home felt different than the rest of the world. Natural light poured in through the windows because the curtains and blinds were always open during the day. Or maybe that is just how I remember it, but either way, that is what it felt like. Our home smelled like the foods my family ate. Things were in order. There were routines and consistency. My mom keeps a much cleaner and more organized home than me, but cleanliness and organization did not make our home stuffy and unpleasant. Our home felt inviting and calm. When I walked into our home, the messy chaos of the real world felt far away and I could breathe deeply.

That feeling of coming home, and the memory of what that meant to me growing up, drives me to create a home where my family feels safe and loved. I want our home to be the safe haven for my children.  I don’t do it the same way my mom did, but I’ve found my way.

But, today I’m not going to tell you about all the things I do. In honor of this season of celebrating mother’s everywhere, I’m going to tell you what I don’t do (or do because I don’t do):

  • I don’t coupon.
  • I say no a lot.
  • Most of our dinners are not Pinterest-worthy.
  • I accept the help of my husband and children.
  • We rarely repair anything ourselves.
  • I cross things off my to do list that just don’t need to be done, even if they felt important at one time.
  • I hire help when my list gets too long to do myself.

And I’m happy. Really happy. I go to bed at night looking forward to the day ahead, which is such a different feeling than when I was frazzled and overwhelmed by thinking of what was coming next.

 

So my unsolicited advice to mother’s everywhere is this: know and remember that your time matters. What you choose to do can forever bless the lives of your family. But you can not choose to do everything. Do not be afraid of help.  Do not be afraid of having your own dream. Do not be afraid of making different choices than everyone around you. Please, just do what you need to do.

You are the mother meant for your children. 

There is no perfect way to be a good mother

 

Thank you, Mom, for being the mom I needed. And thanks for letting me vent about all the crazy expectations I feel. Thanks for listening to the boring stories about my children and sincerely being interested. Thanks for validating me when I feel overwhelmed. Thanks for taking me to the dentist, and I really am truly sorry for every cavity. 

 

So … I’d love to hear your list. What do you do or not do to stay in your happy place as a mom?

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5 thoughts on “Mom, I really am truly sorry for every cavity.

  1. We have worked really hard to make our kids independent and to take responsibility for what they have. I have sorted there clothes into bins under there beds so they can pick out what they want to wear. In the morning they are in charge of there own wardrobe choices. We also have backpacks for when we go out to friends houses, family visits, etc. where they can pick some toys to take along. They know that they are responsible for what they take out so they have become very responsible with collecting the toys when it is time to go.

    We have told them that we are here to help them but we are not here to do everything for them! They seem to love the independence!

  2. I love you for saying this. Like you I do a lot of things to make me and my family happy. And if that does not fit in with what I see in blogs, well too bad. :)

    1. Good for you, remembering that what you see on blogs is what people choose to show you. At the end of the day, you have to decide what is realistic and good for your family! Thanks for your comment! :)

  3. My darling daughter. I always look forward to your mother’s day posts, even though they always make me cry. You always make me feel so grateful to be your mother. I am so grateful that you have some happy, comforting memories from childhood. As a mother and homemaker, I tried to create a peaceful atmosphere for my family. I am thankful that you felt that.

    Now you are a mother and homemaker. I have watched you create a wonderful home for your family. I am grateful you have figured out your own style and way of doing things and that you are happy. We all have to find our “happy place”.

    And you are forgiven for every cavity. :) Love, Mom xoxo

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